That Could Be Us
by Shiny Jewel
Summary: Post episode 1x15. Rayna is feeling lost post-divorce until she realizes this is her chance to make things right with Deacon. She needs to put her cards on the table, but will she?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Rayna tugged down the beaded hem of the body hugging dress she was wearing and wondered if the stylist had gotten her wardrobe confused with Juliette's. Maybe she was imagining things, but her costumes seemed to get shorter and tighter as the tour wore on. She hadn't even put on the four inch heels that were set aside for her and was already concerned with what would be exposed if she moved the wrong way on stage. She glanced in the mirror and leaned over to examine the bags under her eyes. She was grateful that they had such an amazing makeup artist on this tour because she was beginning to look how she felt. Exhausted.

Rayna sighed wearily and sat down on the plush velvet couch adjacent to the vanity in her dressing room. While most days she loved the glitz, the glamour and the rhinestones, tonight she was feeling more worn down than ever, both emotionally and physically. She would give anything to have some privacy and just hole up at home, in a pair of sweats, cuddled up with her girls. Even though a good amount of time had passed since the news of the divorce, the press was still relentless, continuing to print new trashy stories about her that just reiterated the same made up "exclusive" details as the last one.

The equilibrium of the life she had known for the last twelve years had been shaken to its core and though she knew it was for the best, she found herself constantly worrying about her daughters and feeling horrible that she wasn't at home during such a trying time for all of them. Rayna attempted to throw herself into writing new music as a distraction, but despite her best efforts her new album was only half finished and a pile of demos for her new label sat in a suitcase untouched. Rayna loved to think she could always do it all, and usually, regardless of what was going on in her life, she was a pro at keeping it together, pulling herself up by her bootstraps and just getting it done, but this was different. She felt lost, unmotivated and overwhelmed.

On top of all that, and as much as she hated to admit it, she missed Deacon desperately.

When she saw him standing with a pretty blonde outside the hotel in New York a month ago, lab puppy nestled in his arms, she had assumed the woman was just another member of Juliette's entourage, but then came the word _girlfriend_.

_I'm his girlfriend._

Rayna's heart dropped into her stomach and even though she tried to mask the shock on her face she knew immediately she hadn't done too good of a job. She smiled and made polite chit chat for minute before using the girls as an excuse to get away from the seemingly happy couple as quickly as possible. It wasn't until that moment that Rayna could come close to understanding what it was like for Deacon all the years she was married to Teddy.

Seeing the person you're in love with belong to someone else felt like having an ice pick lodged in your heart that was impossible to remove.

Deacon remained cordial to her on tour, but distant, and it killed her. At first Rayna figured it was probably for the best, but even just knowing Deacon was with someone else, someone he wasn't just sleeping with, began to stir up intense feelings of sadness, jealousy and regret.

She knew he deserved to be happy, but it just all felt so wrong, until yesterday.

Rayna was sitting in the lounge in the hotel lobby waiting for Bucky and answering some emails when she overheard Juliette and her assistant talking about how Deacon and Stacey had recently broken up. Being only a few feet away from them, she tried to keep a low profile and not act like she was eavesdropping so she only heard small snippets of the conversation but it was enough to get the general idea.

_Couldn't handle his life on the road. Trust. His heart not totally in it. No appreciation for what he does.  
_

Rayna tried not to feel relief when she heard all that, but she couldn't help it. Now the question was, what was she going to do with that information?

The sound of loud knocking on her dressing room door quickly snapped Rayna out of her thoughts.

"Come in!" Rayna called, turning around to see Bucky standing in the doorway looking perplexed.

"What's up Buck?" she asked, bending down to put on her black pumps.

"I have some bad news," he said, scratching his goatee nervously. "Adria has the flu. She's not going to be able to perform tonight, so we're going to need to find a replacement."

"Oh Bucky," Rayna groaned, glancing up at the clock. "We go on in just over an hour. How are we gonna find someone else that quickly?"

"Well, there's always the backup," Bucky offered, already knowing that wasn't going to be a sufficient solution for Rayna.

Rayna sat in silence for a minute and then shook her head, rising from the couch. "No, that's not gonna work. I have an idea, but I have to act fast. I'll be right back."

Rayna hurried through the hallway, dodging clothing racks and Juliette's backup dancers, going through their warm ups. Eventually, she spied Deacon leaning up against the wall, absentmindedly tuning his guitar and chatting with a few of the other band members outside their dressing room.

"Hey y'all," she drawled in greeting, flashing the overly enthusiastic smile that was reserved for public consumption. "Good luck out there tonight."

Rayna cleared her throat as Deacon looked at her expectantly, knowing full well she didn't just come over to wish Juliette Barnes' band luck.

"Deacon, can I grab a minute?" she asked.

He looked at his watch and then glanced down the hall towards the stage entrance. "We go on in a few, so maybe we can talk after the..."

"Just a minute," she pleaded.

He nodded. "See you fellas out there," he said, following Rayna down the hall and into her dressing room.

"What's up?" he asked.

"So, I really hate to ask you this, but I'm in a fix here. Do you think there's any way you could stand in as my lead guitarist tonight? Adria's sick and I'm really not thrilled with her backup and I just wouldn't feel comfortable..."

Deacon looked at her sympathetically as he twisted one of the pegs on the acoustic guitar he was holding.

"You know I'd love to help you out Ray," he said, "but I'm under an exclusive contract with Juliette for this tour. I can't just run around doing whatever or playing for whoever I want, you know that."

"I know."

They stood there silently until Deacon sighed, bracing himself for the explosion he knew would come from his boss for even attempting to make this happen.

"I'll talk to Juliette and if she agrees, I'll do it."

"No, this is my predicament, and I'm putting you in the middle of it, so I'll talk to her," Rayna insisted.

"Do you really think that's the best idea?"

"Deacon, are you forgetting how charming I can be?"

He looked at her, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "No, I remember."

"Alright then, lets catch her before y'all have to go on." Rayna tugged his arm and motioned for him to follow her down the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

Rayna hustled down the long backstage corridor of the arena at an impressive speed for someone wearing a pair of four inch stiletto heels.

Back in the day, during one of Rayna and Deacon's late night writing sessions, when they were deep in the throes of their love affair and feeling loopy from the excessive amounts of caffeine they consumed to stay up all night churning out music, Deacon had spontaneously penned a silly song about Rayna's two favorite categories of footwear. It was affectionately titled _Stilettos and Cowboy Boots, _which he eventually recorded a demo of and gave to her as a joke_. _She still had it somewhere, packed into a huge box and stored up in the attic, (marked "clothing" to ensure Teddy didn't go rifling through it) only big enough to contain a fraction of the countless memories they had made together over the years. Sometimes she wished she could bury her feelings and desires like tangible belongings and shove them into a corner, never to be heard from again, but unfortunately life didn't work like that._  
_

As they rounded the corner towards Juliette's dressing room, Deacon set his rough palm on the top of her exposed shoulder as he moved behind her, the sudden contact startling Rayna for a moment.

It was a simple touch, but one that immediately sent chills up her spine and made her realize how very much she had missed the small moments of physical contact between them. The hand squeezes, the lingering hugs, the way their shoulders would graze as they leaned in to sing harmony together, had become like a second language to them in all the years they spent apart. It wasn't much, but it was some connection to the greatest love both of them had ever known, tragic flaws and all.

When they finally reached their destination, Deacon motioned to the doorway of the dressing room. "You sure about this Ray?" he asked.

"I am. As sure as I know I want to put on a damn good show tonight."

"Alright then, lets go."

The second Juliette noticed Rayna lingering with Deacon standing a few feet behind her, her face soured.

The hair and wardrobe team who were crowded around Juliette working to put the finishing touches on her look for the evening, all eyed each other in surprise. It was rare to see the two headliners interacting during the show with the exception of the closing duet, let alone see them in each others dressing rooms.

"What are you doing in here?" Juliette snapped at Rayna, blotting her over-glossed lips with a tissue.

Rayna sucked in a breath sharply and reminded herself that playing nice was just a means to an end.

"I'm sorry to just barge in here right before you go on," Rayna began apologetically, "but I have a bit of an urgent situation I'm really hoping you'll be able to help me with."

"Let me get this straight," Juliette said, eyebrow raised in disbelief that Rayna Jaymes could possibly need something from her other than a ride on her private jet. "You want my help?"

"I do. I just found out five minutes ago that I'm down a lead guitarist tonight and I need a replacement, someone who's a real pro and can jump in at a moments notice." Rayna smiled tightly and tilted her head in Deacon's direction as he stood, cool as a cucumber next to her, arms crossed over his chest. "And, as we both well know, there's really only one person here who fits that description."

Juliette grinned like a Cheshire cat as her wardrobe stylist wrapped a rhinestone studded chain around her neck. Her eyes darted from Rayna to Deacon.

"So what you're trying to say is, that you want to borrow Deacon from me for the night?"

Rayna laughed nervously and fought the natural urge to take the bait. Over the course of the tour, she had become pretty good at putting the girl in her place when necessary, especially at moments where Juliette was operating at a maturity level that rivaled her thirteen year old daughter's, but she knew that wasn't going to help her here. If it meant getting Deacon out on that stage with her, she would suck it up and let Juliette revel in the fact that she was holding all the power in this situation, even if it went against every instinct she had.

"If it's okay with you," Rayna replied sweetly, "I mean, I wouldn't want to disappoint our fans with a sub par show."

Juliette smirked, fully aware of the game Rayna was playing with her.

"Well," she countered, "since I'm going on first tonight, I'm going to be real generous and let you have my leftovers."

Deacon rolled his eyes. "You do realize I'm standing right here, don't you?" he asked in the irritated tone of voice he reserved for when his young boss was getting a little to cocky for her own good.

Juliette sighed in exasperation. "Oh lighten up Deacon. I'm just jokin'."

She admired her reflection before hopping off the makeup chair and adjusting the top of her skin tight dress so her "girls" were prominently displayed.

"Now come on, we've got a show to do," she chirped, slowly sashaying out of the dressing room leaving Deacon and Rayna to stare at each other with amused but grateful looks on both their faces.

{***}

Rayna fluffed her hair for the twentieth time and paced back and forth on the thick carpet of the dressing room as she watched Juliette launch into the final song in her set from the live feed of the concert set up on the TV attached to the wall.

Why the hell was she so nervous? Rayna had been living her life on the stage for the past two decades and never once had she suffered from an ounce of stage fright. Sure, there were always those jittery butterflies of anticipation she felt the moment before she stepped on stage, but this was different.

While in reality it had only been a couple of months since she and Deacon had last played together, for two people who had been musically attached at the hip for twenty years, it seemed like a lifetime. Between that and all the strange and uncertain circumstances surrounding them lately she was unsure what it would feel like to be out there again with him.

Rayna picked up a magazine and began to flip through it in an attempt to distract herself before tossing it restlessly back down. She sighed loudly and briefly considered asking Bucky to go get her a cigarette to hold. Maybe that would help.

Suddenly she heard that familiar voice boom from behind her before spinning around to see Deacon standing there, slightly sweaty and out of breath.

"Whatcha doin' fidgeting around like that? The great Rayna Jaymes never gets nervous before a show," he said, casually strutting past her.

Deacon removed the towel draped around his neck and collapsed into a chair, blotting haphazardly at the perspiration on his forehead.

"I'm surprised you even work up a sweat playin' for her," Rayna shot back, hand on hip, a sarcastic smile playing on her lips. "Although, there is that extremely complex guitar riff in the middle of that song about Target tank tops and Gucci sunglasses. No wonder you're so winded."

She crossed the room and sat down on an ottoman directly across from Deacon, stretching her long legs out.

"I'll have you know that staying out of the way of those aggressive back up dancers is an exercise routine in itself," he quipped.

They both chuckled and then stared at each other for a long moment before Deacon spoke again.

"You know, she's not all bad Ray. Sure, some of those songs are kind of juvenile, and she's a bit of a wild card, but there's a lot more talent to her than you realize. Underneath it all, she's just a scared young woman who needs someone in her corner."

"Well that's what she has you for, isn't it?" Rayna asked, a slightly touchy edge to her voice.

"Creatively maybe, but she sure could use someone who worked hard for their entire career to become the artist they wanted to be. Someone who knows how to navigate this crazy business without losin' themselves. Someone who is an inspiration to her, even though she hates to admit it. You know anyone like that?"

Rayna smiled softly and looked into the piercing green eyes she had sung love songs into for the better part of her career.

Deacon relaxed back against the chair he was sitting on and clasped his hands behind his head. "She actually reminds me a little bit of you when you were just startin' out."

Rayna opened her mouth to protest, but Deacon quickly rebounded. "Minus the sweet as pie demeanor and good manners obviously," he added with a grin, the skin around his eyes crinkling.

Rayna reached out to squeeze his hand. "Thanks for doing this," she whispered.

They locked eyes again, but the moment was interrupted when Bucky stuck his head in the door and announced a ten minute warning.

Rayna looked at Deacon, suddenly feeling relaxed. "You ready to go for round two?" she asked.

They stood up and Deacon winked at Rayna as they headed out towards the stage. "Let's do it," he said.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

The roar of the crowd engulfed the arena as the lights dimmed and Rayna's band members took their places. She gripped the microphone in her hand and waited eagerly behind the stage for her cue.

The moment right before Rayna walked on stage was her favorite part of the show in a way. Those last few seconds were the perfect combination of loud yet quiet, the calm before the whirlwind of guitars and violins, screaming fans, bright flashing lights, costume changes and mingling with V.I.P's post-show backstage, where she'd be expected to sip champagne and smile until her face ached.

This moment was for her and her only. Anticipation that even after years of performing, still left excited butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Every single show was a blank slate, the possibility of giving the best performance of her career stretched out in front of her like an empty country road.

The opening guitar riff of _It's My Life_ filled Rayna's ears and she shivered slightly as goosebumps suddenly pricked her arms, a visceral reaction to Deacon's unique and distinguishable sound.

Their sound.

It felt so good to be back to that, even if for just one night.

Drawing in a deep breath, she walked out on stage and stepped into the spotlight.

The first half of the set flew by like lightening. The minutes seemed to pass like seconds, and Rayna honestly couldn't remember the last time she became so lost in the music that the thought of what came next didn't enter her mind once.

The energy in the venue was electric tonight. Rayna forced herself to focus on the faces in the crowd every so often as they screamed, jumped and sang out their enthusiasm. The fierceness of their support was incredible really, something she tried to never take for granted. It was a true rarity in this fickle industry where artists were chewed up and spit out before they could even release a second album. It was these very fans that supported her penchant for taking chances with her music, staying with her through all the ups and downs, for believing in the words that represented different parts of her heart and soul, often the things she couldn't always say or articulate in real life.

As Rayna belted out the final chorus of _Stomping Grounds, _she crossed the stage, her eyes shifting over to Deacon with a magnetic like force.

Deacon was one of those guitarists who played with his whole body. Rayna had always connected to the passion with which he put forth onto a simple musical instrument, face screwed up in concentration, foot tapping to the beat, fingers intensely working the strings of his guitar. In fact, it was in large part of what made him so incredibly sexy to her.

Rayna sidled up alongside Deacon, throwing her head back and their bodies melted together effortlessly, moving ever so slightly together to the rhythm until the last chord was played.

When the applause died down, Rayna wiped a damp strand of hair away from her face and strutted forward, bending down to grab the hands of the excited fans who were lucky enough to be in the front row.

"How are y'all doing tonight?" she drawled loudly into her microphone, grinning as the crowd cheered wildly in response.

Rayna went through the usual routine of introducing the members of her band one by one and then finally turned to Deacon.

"I'm sure y'all have probably noticed someone familiar right up here next to me," she said with a smile. "He's an extra special guest star with the Rayna Jaymes show tonight."

Rayna knew Deacon hated having special attention drawn to him, but she couldn't resist and motioned emphatically behind her.

"Give it up for the one, the only, Deacon Claybourne."

Deacon raised his arm in a small wave and bowed his head towards Rayna as the audience went crazy.

They locked eyes and Rayna couldn't believe how incredibly easy and hard things could be with this man at the exact same time.

It was truly the story of their lives.

{***}

Thirty minutes later, everyone huddled backstage in preparation for the final encore.

Deacon hung closely behind Rayna with the rest of the band, absentmindedly fussing with the pegs of his Gibson, something he always seemed to naturally do when he had the thing in his hands.

"So, we're still doing _Already Gone_ as the encore, right?" he asked.

"Yep. But, I was just thinking, before we close out with that, maybe we could do something acoustic, just the two of us out there," Rayna said as she took a swig from the bottle of water one of the stage assistants had handed her. She stood still as a makeup artist touched up her face and waited for Deacon's reaction.

Deacon laughed, assuming she was just mocking Juliette's impromptu acoustic performance at the beginning of the tour, but then quickly raised his eyebrows when he realized Rayna was serious.

"Really Ray? I mean, we haven't practiced any of those songs in ages. Doing it at the Bluebird is one thing but this a big..."

"Come on Deacon," Rayna interrupted with a slight roll of her eyes, "when have we ever needed to practice those songs? Besides, who knows when I'll get to play with you again. I'm really just trying to get my money's worth."

They stood silently for a moment until Deacon broke the silence.

"That Could Be Us?" he asked quietly.

They had debuted that song at the CMA Awards Festival in Nashville seventeen years ago, the first time Rayna had ever been nominated for Best Female Vocalist. She was so incredibly nervous back then. Back when she had everything in the world to prove.

Rayna smiled remembering the way he had held her hair back as she threw up on the front steps of his house right before the limo picked them up, how he leaned in and whispered, "I love you Ray," into her ear, his voice deep and full of encouragement before they went out on stage, the smoldering looks they had exchanged as they sang to each other. She also recalled how they had bowed out of all the after parties, barely getting through the front door before shredding all their clothes and spending the rest of the night making love to each other.

"That's a good one," she replied, feeling her cheeks get hot despite the cool air blowing on her from the air bent over her head. "I'm game if you are."

He nodded, and then took the half empty water bottle from her hand gently, tipping it upward and chugging the rest of it down.

{***}

Rayna let out a breath of relief as she finally returned to her dressing room at the end of the night to gather her things. It had been a long evening. After the show, Bucky had immediately whisked her away to the VIP suite to greet some particularly talkative sponsors and she had been held captive for hours.

Surprisingly though, she wasn't tired at all. Rayna wasn't sure if it was the three glasses of champagne she had drank or the buzz she felt from playing with Deacon again, but she was wide awake, no traces of the exhaustion she often felt after a show.

Rayna stopped short when she noticed Deacon perched on the couch, legs stretched out on an ottoman, acoustic guitar in hand.

"What are you still doin' here?" she asked.

Deacon picked up a yellow notepad with lyrics scrawled on them in his horrendous chicken scratch and held it up for her to see.

"I had an idea for a song and I just wanted to get it out. Hope you don't mind I used your dressing room for some peace and quiet."

She nodded in understanding. "Of course not."

"How you doin'?" he asked softly as she sat down next to him.

"I'm okay. Glad we're getting a bit of a break after this show. I love being out there, but Bucky's got me exhausted with all this entertaining after the show." She paused debating whether to bring it up or not, but it was out of her mouth before she could stop it. "I heard about you and Stacey. I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Are you Ray?"

The words came spilling out of her like a fountain before she could stop them.

"No," she responded bluntly.

Seeing his half amused, half shocked expression, she panicked and tried to backtrack.

"I mean...yes...of course I'm sorry, but if you weren't happy then its probably for the best."

Deacon shook his head and grinned at her. "After all these years, you're still a terrible liar."

Rayna looked down. If he only knew how good of a liar she really was.

"What happened?" she asked.

"She was a good girl, you know. But, something...something just didn't feel right. Maybe she was just too good, too normal to be mixed up with the likes of me." Deacon gave her a small self-deprecating smile. "Also, the not liking country music thing. I have to admit, it was a bit intriguing at first, but this music is my soul, you know? After a while it seemed wrong to be with someone who just doesn't seem to want to really be a part of that."

"I know exactly how you feel," Rayna said taking off her heels and pulling her legs underneath her on the couch, "that's how I felt with Teddy. Always wishing he'd show some sort of interest in it. I guess seeing him be such a good father to the girls made it a little easier to overlook, but there was still something missing. A lot missing." She looked at Deacon and he looked at her and she knew they were approaching dangerous territory but something inside was encouraging her to keep going.

"Thanks for playing with me tonight," she near whispered. "It really felt like old times out there."

Deacon chuckled at her dramatic declaration. "You know Rayna, it's only been a few months since we've played together," he teased.

She smacked his arm playfully. "You know what I mean. Just the two of us. That song. It felt good."

Rayna leaned forward and picked up the notepad, her eyes grazing over the lyrics on the page for a long while before looking back over at Deacon. "Need some help getting this song out?"


End file.
